Embrace your fantasies & fetishes - don't hide from them…

Many of us have at least one fantasy or fetish that we would love to incorporate into our relationship or at least explore to see if it really is for us. However, there are many people out there who won't even acknowledge what they really want when it comes to their own sexual pleasure.

Feeling shameful can be a normal reaction when thinking about what really gets you going, as it may be something that may be labeled as 'weird' or 'strange' to someone who doesn't share the same mindset. Expect people not to understand but don't let that stop you from discovering more about what excites you.

Here are some of our tips about how to take the next step towards incorporating your favourite fantasy or fetish into your life.

Find like-minded people…

Thanks to the Internet it probably won't be hard to find a like-minded, friendly community that focuses on your specific fantasy or fetish. This can be a great way to meet someone who can answer your questions and help you to discover more about the community. Obviously be careful whom you open yourself up to and make your intentions clear about what you want to learn or achieve. Unfortunately there are some people out there who would want to take advantage in one way or another, so keep your wits about you and be careful.

If it's new to you, do some research (and take notes)…

If you feel nervous about actually talking to people online or just have no idea where to start then stick to reading blog posts and watching popular videos on platforms like YouTube, which are sure to contain many different videos on your chosen fantasy or fetish. This means you can research in your own time when you're in the right mood, so you won't feel pressured into responding to actual people until you're ready.

Save your favourite videos and take notes if necessary, to help you remember key points and generally how to go about incorporating it into the bedroom from start to finish.

If you have a partner, discuss it with them…

Even admitting your fantasies & fetishes to yourself can feel embarrassing, which is why many people wouldn't even dream of mentioning it to their significant other.

However, we feel that discussing these things can only be a good thing, as we all know that good communication is key to any relationship.

Start by sitting your partner down at a suitable moment and start a discussion about your sex life and explain that there is something that you would like to incorporate into it. This may be too direct for some and may take a lot of confidence. If you think you'll struggle with being this direct, wait until the conversation naturally turns sexual and gently insert the subject of fantasies & fetishes. Perhaps ask your partner if they have one. But if they say something along the lines of 'no, not really' etc, don't be put off, keep moving the conversation forward and you never know, they may ask if you have one, which will give you the perfect opportunity to let them in a little more.

If you think it would help, show them any videos you have saved explaining a bit more about it. Visual aids are always helpful.

What if your partner hates the idea…

Opening yourself up to new sexual fantasies and fetishes can be a daunting and often scary experience, as you will be exploring a strange new territory that may play with your emotions, so don't be surprised if your partner immediately refuses the idea.

It's a normal reaction, so don't let it make you lose hope, Discussion, time and communication are just some of the factors that will dictate what happens next.

The first try may not go so well…

When you try something for the first time, no matter what it is, the chances are that it's not going to be straightforward and enjoyable, as you may feel a little awkward and still feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

Don't worry, this is very normal and it may take you a few tries to be able to get into the right mindset to really start enjoying it. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Stay positive and keep learning…

Keep learning, keep researching and gain the confidence to talk to like-minded people (if it's ok with your partner) but most of all, stay positive.